I turned 30 last year. I started planning a big 30th Birthday bash complete with a choreographed entry dance to Hael’s “Limited Edition”, Minute-to-Win-It games, Jeopardy-style Trivia and the launch of my video interpretation of NF’s “Change”. In other words, it was going to be a birthday worthy of a milestone.
You of course know what happened then - Covid sent us all indoors. But in the end I wasn’t put out by my foiled birthday plans because I was utterly exhausted, cycling through pits of depression, worried all the time, and my health was tenuous. The birthday plans were only adding stress to my already stressed out mind and body.
My 30th birthday ended up being a simple affair of birthday calls, cutting a birthday cake with my family and doing a photoshoot with my magnificent photographer, Elizabeth Lewis, where I revealed my tattoo for the first time. The simplicity was what I needed that year.
Today, I reread my March 26, 2020 journal entry and recalled the exhaustion and strain I was under. I recalled the cry of my heart for God to not only come in and intervene, but to change my life and rejuvenate my relationship with Him (you should listen to the lyrics of Change by NF). 30 had always been a big deal for me because Jesus started his public ministry at 30 and yet I was floundering, hobbling around on a spiritually broken and warped leg.
March 26, 2021 has me in another lockdown due to the same virus. However, a few things have changed since last year.
First and foremost, God came in and reset the bone. He gave me a few revelations about Himself and about me and they’ve been like a light coming into the murkiness of my life. Like any resetting of brokenness, I suppose it will take time and care to be completely healed.
God took a mallet to my foundation that I’m still reeling from and He has not relented. Suffice it to say, if we proclaim to be God’s children, He won’t let our identities be founded on anything or anyone except Him, nor will He share His glory with anyone.
Physically, my health has vastly improved and my loved ones haven’t been commenting on how exhausted I look or asking me how I’ve been sleeping.
I’m in a completely different country (Brazil!) and I got to celebrate this birthday with a sister who has had to miss the last 6 birthdays because she’s been at medical school.